Dear Yelp, Please STOP CALLING ME!

Dear Yelp;

I get that you have no way of knowing this but we have a very good relationship as it stands.  I write reviews, find awesome places to eat from you, list my business on your site.  I’m even pretty serious about defending your site and pointing out how silly people are when they claim you are some sort of extortion racket.

I like you, really I do, just not in a give you money sort way  I’m flattered you have assigned me a personal contact person but  really I don’t want her, I’m not interested in you in that way.  You’re cool and all just not for me.

Since April 20th this lovely young woman has called and left voice mails telling me how excited she is to be my contact person at Yelp.  She’s so excited she won’t stop calling even though it’s obvious I’m intentionally ignoring her.  She’s so eager that she will even call me multiple times in a row.  Like just now at 5:17pm and again at 5:23pm.  I’ve been running in circles all day doing you know my actual business of repairing computers and talking endlessly with clients on the phone.  Nothing makes me happier than having Yelp call twice in under 10 minutes 17 minutes after the end of my business day.  It’s says it right there 5pm in the voicemail greeting she has listened to 7 times in the past few weeks.

So sadly I have been forced to block your number, I will also be adding caller ID filters to my call screening software the blocks the word Yelp.  I’ll still use the site love it.  Though I do now understand why plenty of business owners think you are an extortion racket, it’s your unwanted and overly aggressive sales force.

Love the site, hate your idiotic sales force.

Love Always,

John.

 

By the way I will paying to promote this post on Facebook, sorry they are just better than you.


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